Monday, August 5, 2013

Trvial Stuff Isn't So Trivial

Last fall my thirteen-year-old daughter started watching The Voice. After several episodes she said, "Mom, I think you'd like it. Will you watch it with me?"

Will you watch it with me, she asked.

And so I did watch it. With her. More than once. And I did like it. So much so that we watched the spring season of The Voice together too.

But mostly I liked that she asked me to watch it with her.

This is a big thing with kids and teens: When they ask us to do something with them (even if it's something trivial like watching TV), it's an important thing. And I need to make the time, even if -- maybe especially if -- I don't think I have the time. Even if I feel like I could use that time to do something I think is super important -- like writing.

Because if I'm not there for their trivial stuff, how will either of my teens trust me with their biggest stuff?
 

24 comments:

  1. So, so true. I think it's fantastic how she actually asked you to watch a show with her. That kind of thing is so rare for kids to do anymore, it seems!

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  2. So agree, Barbara. Since we got our puppy, my daughter has been coming into my bedroom to hang out with our dog and watch TV more. It's been fun.

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  3. Such a great post. Yes. The ask is so important. If you can't be there for the small things, why would she ever come to you with the big things!

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  4. I agree with you, especially since life is short and every moment is to be treasured.

    ~Akoss

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  5. How nice that she asked you. And good for you for finding time. I need to be better about that with my grandkids.

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  6. So very true and great advice. Despite its inconvenience I love that my kids still want me to be included in all their daily minutia, including their potty habits. I know that won't last long. If I can set the foundation now, maybe later, when it's important they'll still want me around.

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  7. It's so nice to find hobbies/interests that can be shared with a son/daughter. It's sometimes especially nice if the interest is only shared by two. For example, my son and I love to garden together. The other family members don't care to garden. It's great.

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  8. Oh yes. When this kind of thing happens you grab it and cherish it. You are very lucky and so is your daughter.

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  9. I completely agree with you on this post!

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

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  10. Exactly. You have to be there for the big stuff and the crumbs, too.

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  11. Soooo, true Barbara. We must cherish each of those moments.

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  12. You are so right! The time you spend with your kids is more valuable than the most expensive gift you could ever buy them. Way to go, Mom!

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  13. No doubt! I try to remind myself every time one of my kids asks me to play. Sometimes its so hard to get in the mood or there are so many other things to do, but none of that really matters when your kid wants to spend time with you.

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  14. So true! This is exactly why I play Wii games - because that's what my 14-year-old enjoys and we can do it together.

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  15. I think you made the right choice, and how lovely that your daughter asked you to watch it with her. It sounds like you have a good relationship.

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  16. Wow. This is such an important reminder. And how sweet is that? I need to do the same even when it involves *shudders* Minecraft the video game/bane of my existence. ;D

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  17. I love this post for so many reasons. This is such a good point Barbara. I also LOVE that she asked you to watch it with her - melts my heart. I hope you enjoy your final weeks of summer before school starts up again. ;)

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  18. Hello again, Barbara, thanks for commenting on my blog and folloiwng it. I'm following yours now.

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  19. Barbara, that is so right. "Faithful in little; faithful in much." While reading your post, I too heard the "Will you watch it with me?" loud and clear. It's a breath-holding moment where you give thanks that your child would ask you that question. And right then it becomes the most important thing in the world to do what they asked.

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  20. So true, Barbara. We need to take the time to be with our kids and be thankful that they want to be with us.

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  21. I literally welled up with emotion reading this. Those small moments, whether kids or parents or friends, are SO IMPORTANT to remember. Especially as writers who get locked in our own heads for long stretches.

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  22. Great post. And this is so hard, when everyone is busy and you "think" you don't have the time. This was a good reminder to make sure I make time for those I love, no matter what!

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  23. You have exactly the right perspective on this. I think that as writers we tend to get impatient when we don't meet the goals we set for ourselves, but giving time to our kids pays bigger dividends than giving time to our stories. It's just hard to find the right balance. Great post!

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  24. Hope you are enjoying your end of the summer hiatus (I should be doing one of those too) and I love the excellent reminder in this post... my teen occasionally mentions "we should go get a manicure together" and manis aren't my thing but I think maybe I should just go!

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